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Journal 2018

Thoughts for Monday 2 April 2018

At the moment I have no money. I need to get access to the disability support pension. The mental health service treating me shows an absolute rudeness and lack of care in dealing with me. They have accused me of doing things I am not guilty of doing and on that basis they treat me with a monthly injection of an anti psychotic. The community is quite mad in its refusal to acknowledge the truth and validity of my speech and my reliability as a witness.

I have been meditating on wisdom, on the emptiness of a self of person and of phenomena. Anne has set me up and framed me for things I do not do, behaviours I do not engage in and actions that are not mine or connected to me. Kerry Whitlock shows no willingness to engage in a healthy way with me on any level. Thoughts are ephemeral and transient but I can still recall or remember quite clearly events or actions that I engage in with this life.

I don’t think the mental health service or the community like my thoughts, my clarity of mind or my heart. They show a basic refusal and loathing to engage with me on a meaningful or positive level. This is on the art of patience, a skill that many today seem to be reluctant or reticent to engage in or with. There are three types of patience according to the lam rim text. I would like to be able to recall each of these, but that type of memory within me has failed on some level. There is I think the patience to accept harm, the patience in dealing with one’s own negative situation or state of karma. This, for me, is being very well tested by the community of Buddhists, and people of Melbourne and Australia.

According to Lama Zopa Rinpoche here is an explanation of the type of patience we need to practice to do well with the practice of compassion and a good heart.

There are three types of patience [Rinpoche translated this from Essential Nectar]:

1. All the transmigrator beings, even if they rise as enemies and scold me extremely, by examining with the analytical mind and above not getting angry back, but obtaining benefit in return for harm: this is the patience unconcerned with harm.
2. Poverty of food, clothing, bedding and so forth and experiencing disease and so forth, undesirable things, and also experiencing suffering in order to practice Dharma: practicing patience by enjoying that is practicing patience voluntarily taking suffering.
3. Then generating faith from the heart to the faithful holy objects of the Three Rare Sublimenesses [generating from the heart faith in the holy objects of the Three Precious Sublime Ones] and so forth: this is the patience definitely thinking Dharma.

I attempt to practice the three types of patience from now on. Please grant me blessings to be able to do that.