How to abandon the beached whale

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Yes, I know it’s been said before. New Year, New Year’s resolution, how to diet, how to get that fit, young feeling, that Elle Macpherson trim taught and terrific look. What? At the age of fifty? Hmmm, well these days, people don’t exactly embrace ageing well. I’m not really here to bore you. I could say, yes, you bore me.

So, we’ve been through several periods. Molly Meldrum’s hum drum. Yes, but I’m funnier.

I’ve thought about Jenny. Hmmm, Jenny Craig. Jenny is nice. I don’t need to cook. I’ve cooked for the past thirty years. I’m a gourmet. There’s no pesto pasta like my pesto pasta. I’m not here to brag, but my Thai Red Curry and Rice is good too. Anyway, the problem is, I need to lose the kilos. I used to be nice and small, but then I got cooking. That’s smart, life is what it is. It needs meaning. Why not enjoy yourself a bit and cook a decent meal, instead to tearing around town like a chook without your head on behaving in the abominably meaningless and selfish way of an aetheist. Ya, I’m Buddhist and happy to be that way.

Here, there is lot’s to discuss. Really, how do you lose weight on Jenny Craig when it’s healthy and of course beneficial to have or to enjoy a whiskey? OH what, so now I’m damned? I don’t think so. So it’s 5000 kilojoules daily and I am advised by my doctor to drink whiskey. Outcome number one, my dress size probably won’t decrease that much. Still, I can ponder a bit more. Did you figure out the meaning of life? Well I did, it means you should and of course need to be happy. Now I’m not a hedonistic narcissist. And I’m not getting into an argument over that subject.

Did I get anywhere? Well, I don’t have as many dishes to wash, and apparently Jenny Craig is organised by a group of scientific dieticians and medics. So that’s something. My diet is good too, but a lot of work. The bad news is I need to lose weight. So, how much damage does to whiskey and diet coke do to one’s waist line as one attempts to drop one kilo or so a week. See, I’m going to document this, because some alcohol is good for the heart. Whiskey has around 300 kilojoules or so per glass. There’s no kilojoule count with the diet coke. I’ll probably have to move a bit however.

The modern era has some good things, but how to get over the incessant neuroticism? That’s something that I believe probably causes cancer. The weather this summer is good. Nice and warm, not too windy and I’m out for a break. Can I lose any weight however? What if I went for a swim and a walk? I know, it’s all been said and done before, but did you check out the stress levels attached with the dieters dream to lose weight? Miranda Kerr is young. Does she look after her children properly however, or is she always struggling away at the gym?

Stay tuned. This is jiminny crickets. Norm once wisely said, isn’t beer better ?