Monday 7th June, 2004

What can I talk about today?  Anne leaves for Port Douglas tomorrow, so she is busy packing and cleaning up in Noosa today.

Christian and I just had dhal, rice, papadams and coca-cola for lunch. This afternoon I will go to the gym and for a swim.  Tonight I will watch The Apprentice.

I was thinking I should write down some of the experiences I had whilst I was on retreat.  Record the events which led up to now.

I think I began my retreat some time in 1999.  I had been under a lot of pressure whilst working full time and trying to look after Dad and his estate whilst facing constant opposition and obstacles from Julia. I was also focused on being a good Buddhist practitioner and wife and a good friend and student of Geshe Doga’s.

Everyone in the family strongly opposed my wish to do retreat.  When I first asked Geshe Doga if I should continue working, he said, “Better”.  The next day, when I started retreat fairly informally, rather than reiterating what he had previously said, like “work better”, he simply let me know that an informal style of retreat was in not good enough and encouraged me to develop a far more intense focus towards my practice. As a result, I commenced a very formal and disciplined Vajrasattva retreat.

The following months brought with it much mantra recitation, prayers, prostrations and blessings.  The first truly amazing blessing experience came during the Vajrasattva retreat.  As I was seated in the meditation posture doing the sadhana, my entire body was covered, indeed penetrated, by a huge tube of light and nectar, entering me from my crown and penetrating every part of my being.  As my body and mind was absorbed by this field of light and heavenly substance, I felt totally purified and freedom from all obstacles and hindrances and faults.  It was like entering into a state of purity and blissful absorption, This experience lasted some time before dissolving into the sphere of emptiness.

∞∞∞

This afternoon Christian and I went for a walk and took some photos of each other in Como Park.  Here are some photos of me.